Encyclopedia of Anti-Revisionism On-Line

A. F. Day

HUS and RCYB Form Alliance

First Published: Modern Times, Vol. III, No. 3, April 1979.
Transcription, Editing and Markup: Paul Saba
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After prolonged struggle, HUS and RCYB announced last week that they had reached unanimous agreement to work together on a limited set of projects.

Although the initial plans are modest, involving only projects that “will inevitably awaken the aroused masses to permanently crush the capitalist octopus, overthrow the fascist insect, grind up all running dogs, and reduce taxes,” it is confidently expected that these first groping efforts will eventually lead to an untied front.

Spokesfolk for the two organizations stressed that, although the agreement itself will have no small effect on the history of the world, the method by which it was reached was equally important. Calling it “a major praxical advance,” they claimed it provided a “foolproof way for handling contradictions among organizations”. They were unwilling to describe the method, lest it help reduce ruling class division, but said that the alert reader of their joint manifesto could detect its main features.

HUS-RCYB Joint Manifesto

HUS and RCYB take pleasure in announcing that they have achieved a limited agreement to work together on joint projects.

Let the porcine capitalist vampires and their mincing brown-nosed two-bit lickspittle lackeys tremble as the earth shakes beneath the tramp of our united feet, welded immovably together by the bonds of proletarian solidarity.

This union will probably add to our effectiveness in the many struggles that demand our support, and that must be both linked together as symptoms of the same disease and also studied in their different concrete particulars and historical contexts, as part of a dialectical process.

As a revolutionary vanguard, armed with the glorious red bananner of Mao Zedong Thought, we are the seed that will fertilize the slumbering volcano of the oppressed masses, which will swoop down and uproot the capitalist paper tiger and its armada of comprador puppets and bureaucratic hyenas.

In addition, the frank exchange of honest differences should deepen and clarify our understanding of the interrelationships among center-periphery disequilibria, alienative identitary dysfunctionalism, and the phenomenology of being-of-itself-but-not-yet-in-itself.

Death to Deng Xiaoping!
Letter of reprimand to the Pope!

Joint Projects

These projects will bring politics out into the streets:

1) Beginning April 1, militant comrades, arm-in-arm, will begin driving on the left side of the road, to dramatize a demand that all traffic move on the progressive side. The revolutionary significance of this historic act will not be lost on the awakening masses.
2) A fearless and rigorous analysis will be made of the structure of traffic in the Carolingian Empire, to draw out its class nature and its significance today for socialist reconstruction.
3) The rash of “Begin no parking zones,” “Begin speed limit 25 mph” sections, and similar slimy subterfuges, clearly shows how the sniveling toadies of the City Council grovel before the Israeli fascist leader. Spontaneously, the masses have risen up to park in them, speed through them, and not check their speedometers in them, by any means necessary. As their vanguard, we must overtake and lead them. (To be decided: would it be reformist to cross to the right side of the road to do so?)
4) Traffic is the soft underbelly of the capitalist state’s repressive apparatus. Only here does the petty bourgeois experience its lies and armed violence. Expose this underbelly by pressing for openness in government! An open flies policy for the traffic court! Such horror will be revealed as will force the police to follow suit, then the FBI, the CIA, etc. This will be a major thrust for revolution: the agents of ruling class repression will be greatly inhibited when their flies are open and available to the public,
5) Become revolutionary fighters for freedom of the streets! It is right to rebel! Down with lanes, lights and pedestrians! Inebriates are inebriate and must be supported! Street signs are street signs and must not be supported!

Criticism, Self-Criticism

HUS admits that its proposed poster for the “Year of the Child” celebration contains no crippled left-handed grandfather of Afro-Eskimo ancestry.

RCYB admits that its speling could do with improvement.

* * *

(Editor’s apology: The above article had been typeset before we realized that “HUS” is the Harmless Union of Scholars, and “RCYB” is the Remotely Controlled Young Bozos, a group of entertainers. They are no one we know at all.

Also, some typing errors slipped in. For “untied,” “bananner” and “flies,” read “united,” “banner” and “files.” Sorry.)