A. S. Makarenko Reference Archive


Lectures to Parents

Lecture 4
PLAY


Play has the same significance for the child that activity, work and service have for the adult....As children are in play, so by and large, they will be in work when they grow up.....

There is really no great difference between work and play. Good play is like good work, bad play is like bad work.....Every type of good play requires physical and intellectual effort. If you buy the child a mechanical mouse you may wind it up all day; the child may look at it -- in this sort of play there is nothing good! The child is passive. If your child is occupied only with such games he will grow up without initiative, not accustomed to undertake new tasks or work, or to overcome difficulties. Play without effort, play without activity, is bad play. In this respect, play is very like work.

Play brings the child happiness. This will be creative happiness, or joy in achievement or aesthetic pleasure...and here is a resemblance to good work.....

How does play differ from work?....Work is the participation of man in social production, in the creation of material, cultural or social values....Play has only an indirect relation to social goals......

Parents often make mistakes in guiding play. Some of them are simply not interested or think that children know best how to play. Other parents pay attention to their children's play, too much so! They interfere, point out, discuss, set problems in games and resolve them before the child does - they are enjoying themselves!.....If the child builds something and has difficulty, father or mother sit down beside him and say, "Don't do it that way. Look, this is how you should do it...." The child can only listen and imitate. He gets used to the idea very early that only grown-ups know how to do everything well. Such children grow up with a lack of confidence in their own strength and fear of failure. ....

Some parents think the most important thing is to have a quantity of toys. They spend a great deal of money and shower the child until the children's corner is like a toy store! Children at best become collectors of playthings and at worst, go from one toy to another without any interest, play without enthusiasm, break and spoil their toys and demand new ones....

Children's play passes through several stages of development and each demands a special kind of guidance. The first phase is play indoors with toys. This continues until about five or six years of age when the second stage begins. This first period is characterized by the fact that the child prefers to play alone or, rarely, with one or two friends. He loves to play with his own toys rather than with strange ones. This is the very time when the individual capacities of the child are developing. There is no need to fear that because he plays alone the child will grow egotistical. He must be given the chance to play alone! The child is not yet able to play in a group, often quarrels with comrades, does not know how to find collective interests. Give him freedom for this individual play; there is no need to force companions on him. This only destroys his play mood, makes him nervous... The better the child plays alone when he is young, the better he will be later with companions. At this age the child is aggressive and in a certain sense is a "property-owner." Playing alone the child develops his own abilities, his imagination -- skill in building, organizing, and this is useful.....

For some children earlier, and others later, an interest in friends, in group play, begins to appear....0ne must help the child to make this rather difficult change....it is good if an older child in the yard helps to organize the little ones....This second stage is harder to guide, for the child is now in a broader social arena. This stage continues to the age of 11 or 12, including part of the school period. School brings a wider circle of friends and interests....the child is already a member of society but a child society of social control and discipline.

School helps them to reach the third stage...ht this stage they are members of the collective, not only for play but for study and work. Now play becomes sport...collective discipline appears.

At all three stages the parent's influence is of great importance....

In guiding children's play it is important: (1) to see that the child is really playing, creating, building, combining; (2) to see that the child does not go from one thing to another without carrying through his activities to completion; (3) to see that each plaything has value and is cherished. There should always be order, cleanliness, in playland. The child should not break toys, should love them.....(But he should not suffer too long either if they are spoiled or broken.)....

If the child is in difficulties or if the play is uninteresting, give him help; set up some interesting problem, bring new material or play with him....When the child goes outdoors and meets groups of youngsters, parents should know what kind of children these are and how they play....The care and initiative of one of the mothers or fathers will often help to change the life of a whole group of children for the better.

At this second stage, the relation among parents of the children is important....Sometimes every parent may be dissatisfied with the children's outdoor activities yet not discuss it or consider how they may improve matters...and this is not at all hard to do. At this stage the children are already organized in something like a collective; it would be a very good thing if their parents gave them organized guidance.

At this stage children often quarrel and complain about each other. It is a great mistake for parents to take sides with their children quickly and get into quarrels with parents of the offender. Even if your child comes to you in tears, hurt and angry, do not rush to attack the offender and his parents. Quietly question your son or daughter and try to get a clear picture of what happened. Guilt is seldom all on one side. Probably your child lost his temper, too. Explain that it is always necessary and possible to find a peaceful solution to conflicts. Try to reconcile your child with his "enemy" - invite him to your home as a guest, talk with him, get acquainted with his parents, clear up the affair.

The most important thing is that you see not only your own child but the whole group of youngsters and that you and other parents cooperate in bringing them all up.....Let the child see that you are not carried away by family patriotism, but activated by social motives; then he will see in your behavior an example for his own.

Later, at the third stage, leadership of play is in the hands of the school or sport organization. Parents, however, can exert a good influence on the child's character...They must see that sport does not become an all-absorbing concern for the child and they should develop other types of activity....They must stimulate pride not only in personal success but in the success of the team or group.

Boastfulness must be checked. Educate the child to respect his antagonist's strength, to pay attention to training, organization and discipline on his team. Teach him to be calm in victory or defeat. At this period of the child's development it is a good thing for parents to be intimately acquainted with his comrades on the team or in the sports club. Parents must see that play does not absorb the child's whole spiritual life but that, at the same time, his work habits are developing correctly.

To sum up:

Play has great significance in human life, it is preparation for work and must gradually change to work.

Many parents do not give enough attention to guiding play and either leave the child entirely to himself or surround his play with too much care and too many toys.

Parents should apply different methods at different stages of play but always give the child the chance for independence and correct development of his capabilities, not refusing to help in difficult situations.

In the second and third stages one must guide not play as much as relations among children and to their collective.